The Myth of 'Having It All'—How to Define Success on Your Own Terms

I used to believe that "having it all" was the goal. A thriving business, a perfectly decorated house, happy kids, date nights with my partner, a social life, regular workouts, home-cooked meals—you name it. I thought if I just managed my time better, if I just worked a little harder, I could juggle it all seamlessly. No stress, no guilt. Just success.

Yeah… that was a lie.

No one actually has it all. And the people who seem like they do? They’re either outsourcing, sacrificing something behind the scenes, or on the verge of burnout.

Let’s talk about what “having it all” really means—and how to define success on your own terms.

For a long time, I chased a version of success that wasn’t even mine. It was this Pinterest-perfect, Instagram-approved life that looked great on the outside but felt exhausting on the inside. I said yes to too many things. I stretched myself too thin. And I felt like I was failing at everything because I couldn’t do it all.

Then one day, I asked myself: Who am I doing this for?

Was I building a business that actually supported my life, or was I trying to meet some impossible standard that didn’t even make me happy?

That’s when I realized: Success isn’t about having it all. It’s about having what matters most to you—and letting go of everything else.

So how do you define success on your own terms? Start by asking yourself these questions:

• What actually makes me happy? Not what looks good, but what feels good.

• What do I want more of in my life? (Time? Creativity? Flexibility?)

• What am I willing to let go of? Because trying to do everything only leads to burnout.

• What does a “good” day feel like to me? Not to Instagram. Not to society. To me.

  
  

Your version of success might look nothing like someone else’s—and that’s the point.

For me, success isn’t about grinding 24/7 or proving I can handle everything alone. It’s about designing a life and business that gives me freedom, fulfillment, and space to breathe. Some days, that means focusing on work and crushing a launch. Other days, it means ignoring emails and having a slow morning with my kids.

Neither of those days is “wrong.” They both matter.

And they both count as success.

So if you’re tired of chasing someone else’s version of “having it all,” I give you permission to redefine success for yourself. Choose what matters. Let go of the rest.

And if you need help creating a business that actually works for you

—without the burnout—I’m here.

Let’s build something sustainable, together.

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